Mark your date down, so you don’t miss free ice cream! By Ben & Jerry’s!

I really, really, really should have known better than to take anything at face value. Obviously, information is now coming to light about the… instability about certain things that I’d thought was already confirmed. After all, if you were told by God that you’d be an Angel, surely you’d believe what He said.

Don’t trust Him, though.

There’s always bureaucracy to get through. Probably a Council  of Angels who are in charge of so-and-so who would probably tell you there’s this and that form to be signed, procedures to follow, things to get approved first before anything is confirmed.

Gableagrgh.

That’s Gobbledygook. My version.

I really feel like complaining, but seriously. It was really too good an offer to be true, and you know what they say about things too good to be true. They’re usually too good to be true, and there’s usually a catch in it. But I’m not going to continue ramble about this, especially since the information is second-hand. Let’s just take things one step at a time, and see what happens first-hand.

I’m a bit frightened, though. And nervous. And when I’m nervous, I tend to giggle. A lot. That never happened in the past, by the way. So it’s probably part of a change in me.

There really hasn’t been much to talk about me. Life so far… It’s mostly been content. There isn’t much I’m interested in now. Except maybe Tokio Hotel and even then I see my interest slowly waning. There’s only so much information you can absorb before it all becomes the same old news. Same thing happened to MCR, AL, OB & etc.

But TH hasn’t been all for naught. I think Bill is a really inspirational character. Besides being a Virgo (like me ^^), he’s strong and confident and sexy and funny and cute and romantic and… there. You know, living. And TH has come so far since they first started. How can you not be inspired and amazed? From playing small gigs to huge stadium concerts with pyrotechnics all around Europe and United States, I’d say that’s a pretty long journey.

And despite all the flake he gets for dressing the way he does (like he’s gay, or he’s anorexic and going to die from starvation etc.), he still continues doing so. And I really admire him for that. Doing what you want, not caring about what people say about you because they’re always going to say something about you, believing in your dreams, reaching for the stars…

I want to be like that too. I want to be brave and strong and courageous like the Gryffindors and wear whatever I like and not care about what people think. (I’m still very paranoid and get anxious when people stare at me for too long) I want to live my dreams so that one day, when I die, my tombstone can read: “Death is life’s next great adventure, for she’d lived to the fullest”.

So… yeah.

I want to dance under the rain, sleep under the stars, go bungee jumping, trek around the world, see the Big Apple, take a cheesy tourist picture with my finger holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa, sit in gondolas drifting in Venice, snow ski and make snow angels and have snowball fights somewhere snowy, speak five different languages (I’m two and a half language away from that goal!), knit gifts for my loved ones, take pictures of my travels, document the different cultures I witness as I fly around the world, make friends with people from everywhere, have a car race in a desert (kudos to you if you get my reference), make a movie (or two), write a book (or more), bake cookies, knit jumpers for my kids, sew and quilt and cook and make ice cream and just… live.

Life’s too short and we’re all going to die anyway, so why not make it as fun as we can and live it to the fullest?

After all, we are the heroes of our own story.

And I’m damn well going to have fun.

PS: Didn’t get how I jumped from topic to the next, but I love the hopeful and cheerful tone at the end! (:

PSS: I was going to talk about certain people at the end, but I gave up. Life’s too short to hold grudges too!

Speaks volumes about the efficiency of my team, eh?

Here’s a picture of my cast and crew:

And now it’s time for me to digitise the tapes and then get started on editing!

It’s been a while since a proper blog post, but now that I finally have time to do it I’m going to talk about what’s been happening in my life. At the moment it’s basically filled with projects, but I’m thankful I’m kept busy because at least if and when I think, it’s only about these projects and nothing else.

I’m currently working on a short film called Emily, and so far things have been going really great. I have awesome team members who’re vocal and contribute to discussions, so it’s not just a one-person thing but a whole team work thing going on.

At the moment I’m hoping to get a primary school to be used as part of the filming location since it’s mostly set in a primary school environment. Well, just a little description so you know what’s it about:

Emily is a short film about the journey of a young girl called Emily who struggles with dyslexia and school bullying. Her teacher notices these things and talks to her mum and now it’s up to her mum whether or not to send her to be assessed for dyslexia.

And that’s basically it. The super condensed version and all. It’s to increase awareness about dyslexia as part of a school project, but after researching and having friends who actually have dyslexia, it’s become a topic that I want to speak out about.

It’s not easy to actually make a film, I tell you. After 3 experiences with making short films, and this being my fourth, all I can say is that you really need to get good team members who share the same vision that you do. If not, some things might be compromised, and the end product of how it’s going to look like is going to depend a lot on how passionate you are and how willing/unwilling you are to compromise on say, production values.

Otherwise it’s going to be quite difficult. Differing views = either silent resentment/big quarrels = rift in team.

Plus with the experience that I’ve more or less gained, I now know what are the things that you need to have and do, and I’m starting to understand the mindset of a director/producer and how stressful it must be to be in charge of such a big project. And guess what?

I’m loving it. It’s crazy and stressful and full of talks and discussions and ideas and brainstorming and dude! That’s just the pre-production part. Call me insane, but I just love filming. If nothing else, it’s reaffirming my goal to be a film maker. I just get so excited when I think about it.

I’m also quite a stickler for perfection, and unwilling to settle for anything but the best, so it’s going to be quite an uphill battle for some parts of this journey, but with every discussion I make with my friends and team mates, the vision I have for this film becomes stronger and clearer and more defined and I know how I want it to look like and to be like. I know what I want to show through this film and I really hope I can do it.

Plus, if it’s done really well, I hope to submit it for competitions and stuff.

And wouldn’t that just be amazing.

Well, the next thing that I’m organising is a fringe festival for a conference, and it’s a little mind-boggling since I, well, never really had experience with organsing stuff that lasts beyond 3 days. The most I’ve done were some school camps that lasted two or three days, but this is going to be seven days.

I’ll also be needing to get team members to help me out with this, so I’m hoping this will go alright. I want to do this really well too. It would be extremely satsifying to see the end result, I should think.

The rest are just school work like designing another website, e-newsletter, poster, writing a news story, research paper and movie analysis, but I should be able to cope. I’m going to make use of tomorrow to settle all the paperwork that needs to be done, and I think I’ve managed to relax today a while with my friends, so I’m recharged and raring to go!

But first, I’m going to sleep. It’ll be a long day for me tomorrow!

PS: It might be a long time before I update again, so I just wanted to let you know. And I’m intending to revamp this whole site into a proper website like a portfolio instead of a blogsite, so… if the site goes down, no worries yeah? Ciao!

RT @levarburton Congrats to my friends Gerard and Lindsey who are first time parents as of 2:57pm PST. Welcome Bandit Lee Way…! You are such a Blessing!!

BUT! In any case, welcome Bandit Lee Way!

BTW, it’s a girl, apparently. Couldn’t tell from the name.

http://twitter.com/mikeyway/status/1941631523
http://twitter.com/jonrivera

owls sweater

Some knitting update!

It’s been ages since I’ve posted a picture or post related to knitting and its like. So here’s a picture of the sweater I’m making. I started it about a month ago, and after some really fast knitting I got the stage where I had to make short rows and I froze.

I kinda panicked, really, and I’d never done short rows before and was absolutely certain that something would go wrong. After two weeks of languishing under a pile of junk I decided, enough was enough. It was wailing and bawling at me and I wanted it to be finished simply so that it would shuddup. I started again last night and it did go wrong (like I predicted, I can be a Seer! lol) because the short rows (to make give the sweater bust some leeway) were placed in the entirely wrong place, and my armholes are at the back of the sweater instead of being placed at the side. I blame the mistake entirely on… my drug-fuzzed mind last night.

Basically this means that I’ll be frogging a couple of rows and reworking the short rows by fudging them. And this lesson teaches you not to knit when you’re high on meds. Speaking of which, it’s time for my next dose. See ya later!

Good news: I got my pay (finally) from the company I was working for at the Comex IT fair. It makes me happy ‘cos now I’m sort of $300 bucks richer! The only thing is that I’m not going to spend a single cent of it, and although I’ll sort of feel yarn deprived, it’ll keep my bankbook looking good at least to my eyes.

More good news: I’ve gotten the yarn I ordered from Kessa, did I mention it? I got this, this and this! She was really nice and really helpful, and even sent me the yarn before I had transferred. I had been kinda slow ‘cos these past few days have been kinda hectic with work. She trusted me even though she only knew me from online, so that makes me feel good.

Interesting news: I’m working on one of my has-been-hibernating projects called the Merletto Mitts, and its been going really fast. It’s just a glove, in any case. I’m quite certain I’ll be able to make use of it when school starts this Oct 13! (I swear sometimes it’s like the air conditioners in the lecture halls are trying to freeze my fingers off.)

Bad news: My wireless modem is DEAD! (insert hysterical screams) This is really such a bummer. Now I can’t surf the internet in the middle of the night in my room.

Good, or maybe not so good, news: Because of that stupid modem, I’ll have to learn how to fix it. I suspect it’s something about a cap inside.. I guess learning something is considered good.

Interesting news: I bought a zodiac book, you know the kind that comes out every year? I got the one for the Sheep, and some of the statements in there fits me to a T that I just can’t help laughing out loud. There was one about dating with marriage in mind, and at the moment, that’s really very true. Must explain the lack of suitors.

I think that’s about it. I don’t think you want to hear about me buying new pairs of jeans (two, by the way) and some really nice headphones. Do you?

Or maybe not, since everyone’s doing it too. Hmm. Is it the new trend? Hehe.

Anyway, I wrote a letter yesterday out of pure inspiration. The words just popped into my mind, and I’m going to post it here and see what you think of it. And in case you don’t know, all works posted here are copyrighted by me, rainin9. They’re all my babies, so don’t you dare steal my work. I use Copyscape and if I find out you’ve been using my work under your name, you are SO dead.

All right, here goes nothing:

My dear Sabella, do you remember me?

Do you still think of me when you look out the window and see the moon shining down on you? Do you still write letters in that tiny handwriting of yours and then tuck them under your pillow? Do you still have a space for me in your heart?

You’re probably wondering how I know all these; I used water-seeing to scry you when you were still a child. I know you are now grown up, perhaps sixteen when you’ve finally gotten this.

I know what I did was wrong. I know that I cannot be forgiven for not being around at all; I know I should have been there to see you grow up into the beautiful girl you are now. I know I was wrong.

Can you forgive me just a little to hear my tale, Sabella?
Can you open your heart just a little once more to listen to my story?

If you have not torn this letter away yet, I thank the heavens for giving me this chance to tell you all the things that I have been through, all the journeys and adventures I have made.

You see, you were just conceived in your mother’s stomach when I first received the letter. It was an old envelope; inside there was yellowed note written in squiggly ink, with smudges everywhere. It was a letter from…. the Grim.

I am not sure if you know who he is, and it is best if you never have to hear of his name even once in your entire lifetime. But I must warn you about him. I have to; there is very little time and already what precious little is slipping away from me. I cannot protect you from afar any longer; my illness leaves me weaker each day. But I digress.

The Grim, if you must know, is a terrible monster. Legend said that he had once led a life so heart-breaking, so repressed and trapped that eventually he went insane and gained his evil powers from the Dark Faeries. Because of his transformation, he turned from human to monster, hunting down whom he pleases for the sake of it. And now he is after you, having conquered and broken me.

The Grim first wrote to me, “I am coming for her. I will have her.” At first I didn’t comprehend. After all, I had never made any bargains with him, nor sworn to give you up. I thought he was talking about your mother. I never realized he had been intending you to be his. You were my first child, the apple of my eye even though you had not come into the real world yet. Thus I ignored the letter despite the nagging in my head, and instead wasted much time that I could have used to prevent what would happen. It is too late for regrets, now, but if I could, I would change time….

Then the second note came just one month before you were born. Inside the note, it said, “One month.”

I was surprised by the note. By this time, your mother had started to worry and would frown constantly. I tried to convince her that everything would be all right, but she would not listen to me and instead went about her own way, collecting protection spells from our neighbors. They would donate them grudgingly and shut the door in her face, and refused to be at your birth for fear that they would be taken by The Grim.

We had no choice; your grandmother was the only one who would help us. All our other relatives avoided us like the plague; your grandmother was our only source of encouragement and hope. She taught me many things when she was around, telling me that everything I was learning was important. When I was unable to grasp the concept of what she was teaching, she would shake her head sadly, as though she expected better of me.

And looking on hindsight, I should have worked harder to protect you and your mother.

The one month soon came, and you were born. Ah, if only I could describe the feelings that overwhelmed me when I saw you. You were such a tiny thing, all soft and pink, and yet you were already bawling your lungs out. I remember seeing your mother sigh contentedly as she held you in the crook of her arm, and your grandmother chuckling as she tucked you under your chin, saying, “She is a strong girl.”

Can I tell you how proud I was to see you finally borne into the world? You were now around with us physically, and we would soon have to deal with all those silly stuff like dirty napkins and powdering your soft bottom. The thought of being with you, of holding you close to sniff your baby scent still lingers in my mind, for it was the last image that I saw of you.

My dear Sabella, enclosed with this letter is my journal in which I had started so that I would be able to show you what I had gone through. It is all right if you never forgive me, as long as you know that everything that I have done, terrible or great, I had done them for you.

I want you to know that I love you, and that everything, everything I do, I do for you.

Your father,
Maichel Brit

Well, how was it? It’s in its pure form, I haven’t done any editing in it yet. So.. do tell me what you think of it and how I can improve it. Thanks and loves!