23.Apr.2008 Introverts: We’re not party poopers
Recently I came across the word introvert again in an article. I have quite conveniently forgotten which article it is (thanks to my brain throwing out the trash every few days), but it annoyed me extremely because the author was very much ignorant about what introverts are, really. I bet the author was an extrovert.
What annoyed me very much was the fact that the author put introverts in the same category of being shy. This I disagree, because being an introvert myself, I know that preferring to be alone is not the same thing as being afraid to meet new people. In a very general sense of the word, introverts gain energy from being alone and if left alone, they will not “fade” away like extroverts do just because they are not together with a crowd.
In this sense we are independent, but in our highly extroverted society (25% of the population are introverts – The Atlantic, para. 8 ) where qualities like being fun loving and outgoing are seen as more desirable, it is no wonder that we introverts feel the pressure to fit in and be seen as part of the “in” crowd.
So what are introverts, really?
We enjoy time alone, as well as time spent with close ones. However, the difference between extroverts and introverts is that we feel drained after spending time with people, even if the time spent was fun. And when we feel drained, it’s just hard to natter on and on about nothing substantial at all. Often, we require some time alone in order to recharge and ‘act’ for everyone else to appear part of a group.
Unlike extroverts, we only consider deep relationships as friends. That I can testify to, as I just find it hard to go around calling my best friends my best friends. I (rather weirdly) prefer to call them as my friends. But I mean it sincerely, instead of just saying it so that you don’t look different.
For me, there are two meanings in the word ‘friend’. There are ‘friend’ friends, and true ‘friend’ friends. Guess which one my (awkwardly spoken but it’s what it is!) best friends are in. (:
Other qualities of introverts are: being a good listener, thinking first before acting or speaking and appearing calm or self-contained. We enjoy meaningful interactions and also tend to notice small details that often go amiss. So now that you know what introverts are really like, I hope that you will understand why some people just seem to prefer alone, and not stereotype them as aloof loners who are wet blankets.
As our motto goes: “I’m okay, you’re okay – in small doses.”
If you’d like to find out whether or not you’re an introvert, here is a link that you can check out: Self Assessment for Introverts from The Introvert Advantage
Articles you can read for more information:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/being.html
http://amused-muse.blogspot.com/2008/02/introvert-versus-shy.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/18/AR2007021800804.html
The above articles are just a drop in the mighty WWW ocean so please do not limit yourself to just reading these few! Also, if you have any thoughts about this, please do feel free to comment!
This article is based on my opinion and describes (more or less) what we introverts are. Not all qualities may fit, but the most common one “needing time to recharge” would generally determine which one you are.
